The New Repuglican Party

When repugnant tactics work, it’s time for Repuglicans to celebrate and use them.

Republicans are in upheaval.  How to bring in rude and annoying Tea Party Conservatives and the similar millions who like Donald Trump? I have an re-branding idea that could capitalize on this underlying attitude, claiming the traits that used to go unspoken.

All republicans need to do is change one letter in their name, dropping the “b” in inserting a “g.”  The naive might think cleaving to the root word “repugnant” would ward off voters; in fact, it is their current winning strategy.  The distasteful, offensive, and contrary all work!  Old Republicans were for individual initiative and savings, and they were for limiting government and debt. These are OK, but passe.  (In truth, many Democrats share these values and live this way). Repuglicans can claim blatantly repugnant tactics as strategy.

I had always wretched a bit in the back of my mouth whenever I heard the Orwellian slogan: “The Party of Lincoln and Reagan.”  “Republican” might have been the official name 150 years ago, but things have changed; now they are closer to the slaveholders than emancipators. They’re closer to John Wilkes Booth than Lincoln.  Remember Trump supporter Sara Palin’s (and other Republicans of that era) putting rifle scope images over pictures of their liberal rivals?  They warned boldly of their “Second Amendment solutions,” instead of merely intimating intimidation.

Donald Trump is no clear Republican or Conservative.  He praised Planned Parenthood and criticized NAFTA-like sell-outs to the new international elite.  He bashes their front-runners and rides rough-shod through their party apparatus.  This doesn’t ward off voters; it opens them to his cruder aspects.  He’s the epitome of ego: insulting women, bashing foreigners, rejecting any who don’t like him, building a big wall.  He mocks how others look even while himself looking like an orangutan who just ate a lemon.  His pinkish-orange color with clashing blue around his eyes, waving his stubby fingers around – none of this bothers his base.

And base they are!  Who would have known how prescient his family was when they changed their name from Drumpf to Trump? You see, “trump” is slang for “fart” in Wales and northern England.  He farts from his mouth; his supporters are proud.  He’s like those macho pickup drivers who make their trucks belch huge clouds of black smoke as a way of laughing off and insulting people worried about Global Warming.

So go for it, Repuglicans, lead the new American mentality.  Draw out the crude, the crass, and the crazy.  Show the world how shallow, mean and selfish we are: “We’re number one!”  Don’t do what Bernie Sanders would do with all the populist anger about lost jobs and suicidal environmental trends.  He’d change things to serve people and the environment.  Trump sees opportunities to drive domestic wages down, pander further to his rich cohort, and insult and exclude any he doesn’t like.  Oddly, this works for Repuglicans.  His slogan is a winner: You’re Fired!

Byron Carrier

Byron has been using his writing and public speaking to engage, challenge and inspire audiences for over 40 years. Reverend Carrier's mission is to rescue and revive our earthly Eden, including our human worth and potential. If you enjoy his work, consider supporting him with Patreon.

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